3 years of missing my babies

3 years have passed since the worst day of my life. It's been 3 years of missing Alex, Michael and Faith and 3 years wondering what could have been. 3 years of wondering what would they look like now, how crazy would our life be with 3 toddlers. There has not been a day that has gone by that I haven't thought about my babies in heaven, but the pain is not as raw as it once was. Blake has brought so much happiness into my life, but there will always be a part of me missing after I lost them. It makes me sad to think that aside from my immediate family the 17th and 18th will come and go and most people will not remember that this is their 3rd birthday in Heaven.

We went up to the cemetery last night and released balloons and then had my family back over for dinner. I didn't shed any tears at the cemetery so I guess time has healed me in certain ways. I hope my babies were smiling down on us as we released balloons up to them.