A Letter to 3 Beautiful Angels

A close friend of mine wrote this letter after I lost the triplets. I've read this letter so many times in the past 2 years and it still brings me straight to tears. I remember reading this letter on the day of the burial and literally could not even make it through the entire letter without taking a break because I could no longer read because my eyes were so blurred from the tears. I will always treasure this letter and thought I would share it.

A Letter To Three Beautiful Angels.
August 20, 2008

Dear Alex, Michael and Faith,

As I write this, I am in an airplane coming home. I’m looking outside my window and I see the most beautiful sunset. It’s a warm, reddish-orange glow that is casting a mist of glory over the earth below. I know there has never been a sunset exactly like this one, and there never will be again. The three of you are like this sunset. Precious, beautiful, gone too soon, and once in a lifetime.

When I look outside, I see just how wondrous God’s creation truly is. A vast expanse of land, glittering with lights and struck across with sparkling rivers and lakes. Miles of coastline, with sand that you can squish in between your toes. Wind, sunshine, rain, and snow. Seasons everchanging.

I wish that I was sitting here now writing you a letter telling you how amazing your life with your mama and daddy is going to be. I wish that I didn’t have to tell you goodbye before we even got a chance to meet. When I think of how much your parents love you – and will always love you – it breaks my heart to know how difficult losing you must be for them. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard this must be for your family. They wanted you so much to be a part of their lives.

I will never forget the day that your mama told me she was carrying triplets. I shared in her excitement and joy, and from that moment on I said a prayer every single day that you would all be well, and greet your family safe and sound. I smiled looking at every single ultrasound photograph, and I thought to myself, “They are so lucky having Mike and Lisa as parents.”

Let me tell you about your mama and daddy, sweet angels. Your mama is so incredible, in so many ways. When she smiles, her eyes sparkle and she lights up a room. Your daddy can make me laugh so hard I’m afraid sometimes of wetting my pants. He always has something good to say to someone that builds them up and makes them feel special. Not only are they caring, loving, funny, intelligent, hard-working and fun, but they are truly good, good people who I treasure as friends and who I consider to be part of my family. They have been confidantes, bowling partners, Guitar Hero opponents (your mama is the BEST at Guitar Hero, hands down, but I kicked your daddy’s behind at Wii Boxing) drinking buddies, furnace-rescuers (thank you Mike!) and all-around wonderful friends.

I have heard it said that there is no greater loss than losing a child. So I can only believe that losing three all at once is that much harder. And when things like this happen, those who are left behind find themselves blindsided, and asking why. Why did this happen? How could God take you away? We feel angry, and the pain of injustice cuts us deeply. It’s not fair that you’re not here with us, especially when your family loves you and wants you so much to be here – happy, healthy, and safe at home with the most amazing parents you could ask for.

Little angels, I don’t know the answers to the questions that your mama and daddy are asking. I’m asking some of the same ones. Why, after what was a perfect pregnancy, did things go so wrong? Why, after all the struggle and the pain of trying to conceive, did this happen? The joy we all felt in awaiting your arrival has now turned to despair, and harsh grief. I do know that we can take comfort in knowing that you are now in Heaven, in the Lord’s arms, and that He is looking over you now. Though I hope you understand that just now, that comfort doesn’t go very far in helping us feel better about your loss.

You are three priceless flowers in His garden, taken before you had a chance to bloom and show the world what you had to offer. You would have had the sweetest smiles, the most musical laughter. You would have excelled in anything you chose to do. And you would have done it knowing that your family and friends were right behind you…just as we are right now. Behind you, and loving you, and missing you. Hoping that one day we will get the chance to meet, and get to learn all about one another.

I ask you now, dear Alex, Michael and Faith, to look over your family and friends here on earth. Pray that someday your mama and daddy can think about your beautiful lives without feeling so much pain. Pray that they can smile, and laugh, and tell jokes, without feeling guilty that for a moment, their hearts were not burdened by sadness. Whisper in their ears that it’s okay to miss you, because you miss them too. Tell them that it’s okay, and normal, to grieve, and that it takes time. That it’s okay to grieve at their own pace, and to break down sometimes. That it’s okay to heal, and dry their tears, but only when they feel ready. That their grief is their own, and it’s no one else’s place to tell them how to experience it. That you know they will never forget you, and that you will always have a special place in their hearts.

Someday they will greet a new dawn, and embrace the sunshine, and know that everything is going to be all right. And their lives will be forever changed, and blessed, for having had you in them, even if it was only for a few precious sunsets.

With great love and affection,

Julia Hutchings